Twas the ride before Christmas, and all through the forest, the only creature a stirin was a bear, with his porege. The stockings were hung by the toolbox with care, in hopes that new parts soon would be there.
The children all nestled snug in their beds, while Im out on the trail, avoiding injury to my head. Momma in her kerchief and me in my cap, ain’t nobody got time for a long winters nap!
When ahead on the trail, there arose such a clatter, I inadvertently wrecked my bike trying to see what was the matter!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a rotund man in red, with a large white beard… I yelled out dad! But he did not answer, instead he rolled down the mountain on a bike named Prancer.
I laughed and I laughed as I begin to shed a tear, that wreck was epic! best I’ve seen all year! With a rider in red so lively and quick, I knew right away this must be St. Nick! More rapid than a peloton of cyclist he came, and he whistled and shouted and called me bad names!
Now da#@$, now pr $@#&-!, now co $/&#@, now vi@/#!&! This man is pissed! Hes using curse words I had no idea even existed!
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry! But his nose was bleedin like smashed up cherry! His angry mouth, all drawn up like a bow, his beard no longer the color of snow!
He was chubby and plump, a jolly fat elf! I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself! But with a wink of his eye, a nod of his head, I soon new I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work, filling my stocking, then called me a jerk. And putting his hand right upside his nose, he shot me the finger, then down the trail he rode. He sprang to his bike then gave another whistle (strange to whistle at a bike, but it just kinda fits with my story) then he flew down the trail, like the down of a thistle! But I heard him exclaim as he rode out of site, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!!